Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Relying on God

In today's world, or at least in our little worlds, we pretty much run everything. We all know that if momma goes down, everything goes down. We are very used to being in charge and getting things done. We do fundraising, we run meetings and businesses, we run PTA's and parents meetings, we meet the teachers, we get the kids where they need to go. Moms do all these things and we do them well. I wonder though if sometimes in our need for control, we forget about God.

God has always been in my life. Even when I walked away from church and faith, I knew He was watching over me. But I can tell you that it has taken a long time for Him to be the center of my life. If I am running everything well, why do I need God? Good question, we are all very good at running our lives and making things run smoothly. But without God in my center, I sometimes felt I was running out of control. Satan had an easy mark, because I was so tired. I gave into sin because I could justify it. I am not saying I am a sin free person now, that is just foolish. But I do think I am doing a better job at recognizing it in my life and praying about it.

I have shared that I read the book "Fasting" by Jentezen Franklin. Although I was bringing God into my daily life by choosing to start my day in the bible and praying. Every day I do this to center my self and those around me. Although this is a daily ritual, I was shocked at how much closer I have gotten to God through fasting. It opened up an entire new look at my life. Fasting is part of my "three strands are not easily broken" life. Give, pray, fast. Three strands that are keeping me centered in chaos.

You see, my life right now is in chaos. My mother-in-law through no fault of her own is losing her house. Scott and I tried to save it and were told it was considered a family bail out. We can get a mortgage, but no one will give us a mortgage to buy her house. Thirty banks said no. So as we began to search for a home, we found the NSP program. A federally funded program to get foreclosed homes off the market. As we put in offers, they get rejected or someone got there first. We need sixty days to close on this type of deal and we have around 45 days left in the house we are in. Chaos reigns supreme in my life. It seems as if the blackness is closing in.

But as I fast and pray and continue to give, monetarily and through time and talent, I am peaceful. God is in control. I am not. He is working supernaturally to put us in the house that He needs us to be in. I cannot see all that is going on behind the scenes but He can. I have let go of this and given it to God. I still do my part of the work. I look for houses, go through them, put in offers, run around and get papers signed. Now, I have to wait and see and pray and hope. As I come closer to God, He comes closer to me.

So as the chaos I am in errupts, I will be calm, I will pray and know that God is with me. I release the control to him alone and know that we will all be fine. We will get the house that God has picked for us. We will amaze everyone involved by making it happen when it seems it should not, and we will tell them it is by God's grace that these things have happened.

Releasing control to God is the hardest thing I have ever done. I struggle with it and want to take things back and make them work my way. In doing that, I could be closing a door that God is opening. I have to let Him work.

Where is chaos reigning supreme in your life? Get your bible out, get into a Spirit filled church, and get some good friends around you who support you and will pray for you.

God bless you and yours.

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