Wednesday, March 25, 2009
While this could take on so many meanings....Keep your kids grounded in the Lord, keep them level in their thinking and actions, keep them realistic in goals, all that jazz, it is not the meaning we are exploring today. I am talking about grounding you kids for doing something wrong.
My children are in a place in their lives where spanking probably won't work. I don't know how I would get Tyler at 5'10" and 150 pounds to go over my knee. That being said, they still need discipline because they still get out of line. So it falls to taking something away from them or grounding them.
The problem with older children is when you ground them, you ground yourself. They want a reprieve and want to negotiate an early release. I will admit to wanting to cave. I get tired of, "mom, why can't I come out of my room" "I have been good all day, you guys are just being mean" "mom, are you saying you never did anything wrong when you were a kid?" All good arguments. Quite frankly, I want them outside with their friends, messing up the woods instead of my house. The lego projects alone are epic. It is amazing what kids can come up with when they are under house arrest. Of course, I refuse to budge. Budging is admitting defeat and giving in to the little negotiators, it is unacceptable.
I admit to guilt over discipline. No one wants to spank a child or ground a child or take something precious away from a child. But actions have consequences, good and bad. That is a life lesson that must be drummed into their little brains, no matter how much they cry and say that everyone hates them. I once heard that if your teenager tells you they hate you less than three times a day, you are not doing your job. I am not my children's friend. I am their mom and together with their dad, we are a unit that prepares them for the big bad world. That is our job. But like most jobs, there are good days and bad days. So I pray a lot over my children.
If you have trouble praying for your kids, join the club. A book that helped me so much was The Power of a Praying Parent by Stormie O'Martian. It has specific prayers for specific times in their lives, awesome. She is a parent and a Christian and knows our challenges. I highly recommend it. Also, talk to your girlfriends with kids a little older than yours, what's working, what's not. Remember that no one knows your kids like you do, but a little help and support during our challenges is wonderful.
What works for your family in the way of discipline? Share the love.
God bless you and yours.