Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Bickering

If you have ever seen a friend of yours, that is a mom, running down the street screaming, it is probably because her kids are fighting.  Fighting over nothing.  Fighting over a space on the couch.  Fighting over the last cookie (even though there is another package sitting right there).  Fighting over who has to walk the dog.  Fighting over fighting.  

Some people consider a fight a fight when fists fly.  I consider a fight a fight when words fly.  Nothing can wound more that words.  Sticks and stones may break your bones, but words can break your heart.  The tone and the force behind hurtful words are brutal.  When I call my kids on this, every time, they say, "I didn't mean it."  Really?  Then why did you say it?  

Any boy in fourth grade or above knows the ultimate put down.  The word "gay".  Most, when they start using the word, don't even know what it means, but they know some older boy said it and the other boy lost his mind over it.  I hate it.  First, it is intolerable.  Second it is misinformed.  Third it is intolerable.  In our house, it is equal to the "f" word.  It is not allowed.  I refuse to allow my children to carry on a stereotype they know nothing about.  And when they have the knowledge of the word, it should never be used as an insult.  I feel the same about stupid, dumb, and retard.  You may not degrade your brothers or sisters in my home.  

Handling all this is a full time job.  For whatever reason, brothers and sisters hate each other at some point in their day.  They push each other in front of the mirror.  They shove to get out the door first.  Everything is a competition.  I consider myself to be a decent mother.  Try to feed them right, dress them properly, and hold them accountable for their actions, take them to church and youth group.  So why do they have to treat each other with so much sass and contention?  I don't get it.  I did it when I was growing up with my brother, but I still don't get it.

That is why you run down the street screaming your lungs out.  That is why you just drank a pitcher of margaritas with your girlfriends.  That is why you pray and when you think it is getting better, you pray some more.  Kids, when they are bickering, drive us the most nuts of all.  They always drive us crazy, but it is something about them tearing each other down that just puts the cork in it.

Do you have a great strategy for bickering in your home.  Besides beating them with a stick and sending them to their rooms?  Is that just me?  Kidding, but I do send them together into a room until they come up with a solution and make up.  What's your strategy?  I need to know.  Share the love.

God bless you and yours.

2 comments:

Baby Z's Mom said...

Only have one child. That was my solution, until I discovered I actually have 3 because I have to count the husband and the dog besides the daughter. Just last night they were all picking on each other or trying with all their might to get my goat. I say we should be able to use sticks, they could be coated in foam, then maybe, just maybe there would be peace.

MaryinAnthem said...

I make them hug publicly - this only works on the way to somewhere - school or church is most effective. If they are tearing into each other, all I have to say is:
"Do I need to make you hug each other?"
Shockingly my kids have never actually physically fought. I know my brothers and I did but it just hasn't happened here. I pray it doesn't.