Thursday, November 6, 2008

A good friend's advice is priceless.

I am going to give you new moms some advice.  You won't listen until you have had your second baby, but I will tell you anyways.  Here it is.

Listen to your friends with kids.

They have been where you are at.  You will read countless books on motherhood.  You will talk to your pediatrician about motherhood.  (I think I sent mine to Spain one year, on questions alone).  But you will not listen to your friends.  "What to Expect the First Year" will become like your bible.  It is a great book, but it is not the end all be all.  With my first I referred to this book a lot, but they don't know everything, and if they did, it would not fit into one stinking book.  Let me give you a perfect example.

My first child was nine pounds ten ounces; basically, I had a three month old at birth.  He would nurse for forty-five minutes every two hours, 12:00, 2:00, 4:00, etc.  He was a big baby.  My OB/GYN still calls him Bubba.  I was preparing to go back to work and we started the breast-bottle-breast routine.  He ate two formula bottles in a row and looked at me like, "No thanks, those things attached to you are not as good as this thing."  

He wanted nothing to do with nursing.  Formula sits in their stomachs longer, so they stay full longer.  I am not telling you not to breastfeed.  I am just saying that there are other options if that is not working out.  Find your sweet spot in this, not perfect, just sweet.  The La Leche league wants you to nurse until they go to college and you don't want to quite that long, find the right time for you.  If you decide not to nurse at all, that is okay too.  Find your sweet spot.

I digress, obviously, this is  a sensitive subject.  Back to monster baby.  Tyler was a big baby and he was hungry, really hungry.  He would suck down an eight ounce bottle in just under eight minutes.  I am not exaggerating.  My father, God bless him, would say, "That boy is hungry, give him a banana."

Gasp----"Dad" says I, "The book clearly says no solid foods until he is four months old....allergies you know."  My dad would just roll his eyes and walk away.  Now I am not telling you to accept all advice.  I mean my mom told me if the baby was crying, to put a little bourbon in his bottle.  Just a teaspoon.  Works wonders.  She did not say this maliciously, my grandmother, her mother did this.  That generation also rubbed whiskey on the baby's gums if they were teething.  They did not have anbesol and all that stuff, so they used what they had and that generation did not die out.  Take the good advice though, it may save your sanity.

Once I introduced Tyler to solid food, he was sooo happy.  And he slept better.  A little baby cereal in their formula will help a newborn sleep through the night.  When our second child, Grant, was born, I started this at two weeks.  I used the oatmeal kind because the rice kind would clog my kids pipes up.  There, another little tidbit that I had to figure out by myself, oatmeal would keep them regular, rice would plug them up.  See, if I had listened to my friends with a two year old, I might have saved some crying (mine and his).

All I am saying is listen to your friends with kids, they are a great source of knowledge.  God has placed them in your life for a reason.  If you have a colicky baby and your friend had a colicky baby, that friend will have some insight.  None of my kids had colic, thanks be to God, but I had a friend with colicky twins.  Twins.  Yikes.  Here are some tricks that really do work.
  1. Put the baby in a secured car seat on a towel on top of a running dryer.
  2. Run the vacuum.  Your house will be spotless and the baby will sleep.
  3. Take a drive in the car. 
You can't drive to Canada every night, but you can actually buy this "thing" that attaches to the baby's crib and jiggles it like they are riding in a car.  You just flip it on and happy baby.  The device was pricey, $150.00 like twelve years ago, but can you really put a price on your sanity?  I say no.

You are much more inclined to take advice on your second baby.  You enjoy your second baby so much more because you are not so freaked out.  We gave Grant pizza crusts to gnaw on when he was six months old, he liked them.  I never would have done that with Tyler, I thought it would scar him for life.  Even if you totally screw up on your first baby, guess what?  They can't remember all the stuff you did wrong in the first year or the year after that, so lighten up.  Give yourself a little room. You are doing fine.  I promise.


Christina said...

God, I wish I could have come across your blog when Deuce was a newborn. Now I'm reading this post, laughing my butt off and remembering the *good* times. :D Tell it like it is! Woo!

hiyahun said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
hiyahun said...

I bought a box fan for each kids room it soothes and stops the house noise from invading their sleep. I also ran one in my room, I tend to hear every little thing and this stops that. I still hear the cries that are important, but the cooing and self soothing noises that new moms seem to run in for are blocked, giving you more rest.