Cooper and the Talent Show

If you know me or read my blog, you know I have a son with Aspberger's Syndrome.  This is a form of autism, on the mild side of the spectrum.  Cooper is Cooper and we love him for exactly who he is.  We regulate his diet and do detox foot pads for him and all these things seem to help him immensely.  Aspberger's kids are not social butterflies.  Social situations are tough on them and they do not have the social skills to recognize many boundaries in our society.  That being said, Coop has come a long way.  He is amazing and I am blessed to be the mother of this wondrous little man.

Cooper came home yesterday and said he wanted to be in the school talent show.  You could have knocked me over with a feather.  He tells jokes.  He has only done this at family get-togethers, but he is pretty funny.  He finishes his jokes with, "am I right or am I right?"  Hilarious.  Or he gives is own little drum beat, "Baddadumpda".  I love it.  I can only hope that the other kids and parents will get his little sense of humor.

The talent show may seem like no big deal for most kids.  They want to get up there, sing, play an instrument, all those "normal" things.  That this even showed up on Cooper's radar is huge.  That he wants to do it is beyond any kind of range I can think about.  This is a child, who up to three years ago, I had to force to go outside and play.  This is a child who refers to his best friend at school as his "classmate, I don't really know his name, but he is my best friend".  This is a child who would yell at other children for not playing video games the "right" way.  My Cooper is going to try out for the talent show and tell jokes.  Miracles happen in every day life. 

So as I celebrate my small miracle, I say rejoice.  We all face challenges in our children.  Some great, some small.  All challenges that our children face are huge to us.  We as adults sometimes feel we know the outcome of them reaching out and want to protect them above all else.  I know in some areas, I am overprotective of Cooper.  I have had to recognize this and let go.  Letting go allows my Coop-de-doop to fly.  He can soar if I let go.  Through my tears I will watch him conquer his world.  

If you are facing anything involving your child, I implore you to pray about everything going on.  "Knee" mail to God accomplishes so many things, the least of which is a peace in your spirit.  We cannot shield our children for all harmful things, they have to touch the stove to know what "hot" means.  We can always shelter them with prayer, love, and understanding.  We are our children's soft place to land when life is bumpy.  

So life is good and I am blessed and Cooper is hysterical......

God bless you and yours.

Living with Aspberger's Syndrome

So yesterday I talked about my Cooper.  He has Aspberger's Syndrome, which is a mild form of Autism.  It is sometimes called "geek" syndrome.  Some say Albert Einstein had it, failing school but excelling later in life.  Every child with autism is different and unique.  That is why school systems are reluctant to diagnose these things, ever child needs a personalized system for them, a daunting task for anyone.  

Cooper is doing great.  But this has not been an overnight sensation.  When he was first diagnosed, we went totally organic and limited certain kinds of foods.  We had seventeen vials of blood taken from his little five year old arm for "level 5" allergy tests.  That was a very challenging day.  Going organic broke our bank.  I was spending $250.00 every four days for food and driving forty-five miles one way to get that organic food.  Yikes.  I am all about eating organic if you can, but it is very costly.  Horribly expensive.  Coop's tests revealed that dairy is a big no no.  Gluten is not an issue for him and thank God corn is not an issue.  Cooper only eats about twenty things.  Popcorn is a basic food group for him, so if he could not have corn, it would be a tragic thing.  

When Cooper finally found out that he could not have milk, he would tell you that he was "black toast intolerant".  Hysterical.  That is what we call a Cooperism.  I embrace all Cooperisms that come from his little mouth.  He is coming along socially and in a regular classroom most of the day.  He is getting A's and B's and an occasional C.  For a child whose whole world is black and white, no gray allowed, that is amazing.  The written and spoken word is a very hard concept for him, but he is doing it.

I never want to seem flip about his diagnosis, but when life throws you a curve ball, you still have to be in the game.  It is about accepting and embracing who Cooper is and what he can do, not what he can't do.  I find it wonderful that Cooper wants to be a chef, even though he only eats about twenty things and frequently asks "What's that stench?" when I am cooking.  He wants to try to help when I am cooking, even if he won't touch what is in the pot with a ten foot pole.  That is progress.  

When you get a diagnosis of this kind, your world shatters.  That is not an overstatement, it is a fact.  But I still had four kids and a life and a husband and had to get up the next morning and keep going.  Praying got me through so much, after I stopped being really mad at God.  The funny thing about being mad at God is that He knows you are mad and is waiting for you to bring the issue to Him.  What a concept, took me a while though.  Cooper is Cooper and that's it.  I cannot change him or cure him.  I just give him the best day I can and help him adjust to what he needs to adjust to.  I just give him the calmest place to start and teach him to roll with the punches.

What challenges are you facing with your children?  Mine are not better or worse than yours, just different.  Let me know, we are all in this together.

God bless you and yours.

My Coop-de-doop

So yesterday I shared that I have a son with Aspberger's Syndrome.  I hope that all of you did not think that I sounded too flippant about it.  We have had four years to accept and deal with this challenge in his life.

For those of you who do not know, Aspbergers is on the mild side of autism.  They sometimes call it the geek syndrome because of the lack of social graces these children have.  Cooper used to have a hard time looking you in the eye, cannot discern facial cues in conversations, things like that.  His world is black and white and the world we live in is full of shades of gray.  I used to have so many worries about my little guy.  

When Cooper was first diagnosed, I admit, I was ticked off at God.  Seriously, four kids, why can't they all be relatively normal?  Then I asked myself, "What is normal?"  Then I googled and researched anything and everything about it.  Knowledge is power after all.  Then I prayed.

I think praying about it, giving my little guy over to God is truly what made a difference.  In reading my bible I came across Psalm 139:14 "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful."  Wow, that is my Cooper.  He may be different, but he is wonderfully so.  Cooper is a work of God and God's works are wonderful.

Okay, we face challenges with him, but he has so many gifts.  He has an incredible sense of humor.  He has "Cooperisms" that come out of his mouth that make perfect sense and tickle my sense of the ridiculous.  He is incredibly smart and will probably cure some horrible disease or invent some microchip we all cannot live without.  He looks at things differently, truly uniquely and that helps all of us look at the world through Cooper's eyes.  What a great view.

Not everything we face in our lives as mothers is filled with wonder, most of it is really hard.  But we need to try to find the wonder.

What is special and unique about each of your children?  What is the silliest thing they have ever done?  Laugh my friends, laugh.

God bless you and yours.